My younger brother recently shared a dream that’s been on my mind ever since. In his dream, he relived an old memory of our mother, but instead of her, I was the one in her place. The memory was from a vacation over six years ago when our mom got heavily intoxicated in a hot tub and later passed out on the hotel bed, completely exposed.
Our mother passed away a few years ago when I was 14 and he was just 11. Now, he’s 14 and I’m 17, and we’ve been living with our grandparents ever since. Our grandmother has taken on the motherly role, but she struggles to truly understand my brother’s emotional needs, despite her best efforts. He has been facing significant mental health challenges lately, leading to hospital stays, therapy, and recently starting medication. Even so, he’s still struggling. I understand what he’s going through—I had to go to a psychiatric ward at 14 after a suicide attempt. He hasn’t attempted, but he has self-harmed.
Last night, around 1 AM, he texted me, saying he wanted to end his life. I immediately went to his room, and we talked for hours. That’s when he told me about the dream. He said that in this memory, it wasn’t our mother lying unconscious on the bed—it was me. I didn’t know what to say at the time, but it’s been weighing on me. I realize that I’ve naturally stepped into a maternal role for him because I’m so worried about him. Now, I’m wondering what this dream really means—what it might say about how he sees me and how he’s processing everything emotionally.
This dream suggests that your brother unconsciously associates you with the maternal role in his life, especially in times of vulnerability. By replacing your mother with you in a significant memory, his subconscious may be expressing how much he relies on you for emotional support and stability. This could also be a reflection of his unresolved grief, as well as the shifting family dynamics since your mother’s passing. Dreams often reshape memories to fit our current emotions, and in this case, it may symbolize his recognition—whether consciously or not—that you have taken on a role of protection and care.
At the same time, the imagery of someone passed out and exposed could reveal his underlying fears—perhaps of losing you, of feeling helpless, or even of witnessing someone he depends on struggling in ways he can’t control. He may be projecting his own emotional exhaustion onto you, sensing that you’re carrying a lot as well. His decision to confide in you at such a vulnerable moment speaks to the depth of trust he has in you. While it’s a heavy burden, it also shows that your presence is a critical anchor in his life, offering a sense of security he may not be able to express in words.
