I had the weirdest dream about someone I’ve considered my enemy for a while now. We used to be friends, but I cut her off after she made some really racist comments and would constantly call me a “bitch” in a way that felt so hurtful. It wasn’t like when other girls say it playfully—it was mean-spirited and cruel.
The last time she called me that was when we were in Italy at a restaurant. It was just the two of us at the table, and there were five other guys—her friends, including her boyfriend.
We were talking, and I shared this scary experience I had when I was in Bologna, where a guy tried to get me into his car at the train station. It was terrifying because I don’t speak Italian, and I had no idea what he wanted.
So, while I was talking about it, she turns around and says, “Maybe he thought you were a BITCH.” She said it so harshly. I was shocked and confused. I asked, “What?” in disbelief. Then she smiled all smug and repeated it. Her boyfriend then added, “What she means is prostitute.”
I was stunned. I just wanted to cry. I didn’t respond immediately because I was processing what she just said, especially in front of everyone there. Eventually, I snapped back, saying, “Well, maybe they only go after pretty girls,” because she had earlier said that she never experienced anything like that happening to her.
Now, I know some people might think maybe I was dressed provocatively, but I wasn’t at all. It was winter, and I was bundled up from head to toe in thick clothes—big hat, puffy jacket, boots, scarf, and all. I looked like a babushka, not someone trying to be sexy.
When I got back to my country, I told her how much it hurt that she called me that. Instead of apologizing, she just said, “I’m sorry you felt that way,” then went on to tell me that she tried to show me all of Italy, and that I was being selfish. She also said she called me that because, in her opinion, most Black people in Italy come from Africa and sell their bodies.
That’s when I knew for sure that I hated her. She never took responsibility, and her response only made things worse.
But then I dreamt about her the other night. In the dream, she was being all nice and friendly, walking up to me with a smile and offering me a piece of a donut like we were besties again. It felt like she was trying to make amends.
I woke up from the dream feeling super anxious and panicked, even though I honestly don’t miss her at all and don’t care about her anymore. I’m just wondering—could this dream mean she feels guilty? Or is there something deeper I’m not understanding here? Has anyone had a similar experience?
Dreaming of someone who hurt you, like your former friend, can often be tied to unresolved emotions or subconscious processing. Even though you’ve cut her off and don’t miss her, your dream might be your mind’s way of trying to reconcile the anger, hurt, and betrayal you felt from her behavior. The dream where she’s being friendly and offering you a donut could represent an attempt to make peace with a situation that’s left you unsettled, even though consciously, you know you’re done with her.
It’s possible the dream reflects your subconscious desire for closure or a sense of resolution, especially if you were left feeling like she never truly took responsibility for her actions. The anxiety and panic you felt upon waking may indicate that, despite your logical decision to cut her out of your life, there’s still some emotional residue from that toxic relationship. It’s natural to feel conflicted when someone who hurt you is portrayed in a way that seems to “undo” the damage, even if you don’t consciously want reconciliation.
This dream isn’t necessarily a sign that she feels guilty; rather, it could be more about your mind trying to process lingering feelings from that friendship, especially as your emotional response is still tied to how she made you feel. It might be helpful to reflect on whether there’s anything from that situation still unresolved within you, even if you’ve let go of her.
